<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/32162671?origin\x3dhttp://thenewblk.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

About

"no words used will describe the space i occupy so just know that i am to influence. i'm 24, clean in this (expletive) making ground in the fashion industry to create a style for ciara, party with kate moss; sip tea at high noon with von furstenberg & westwood; yacht with hov & posen, and exist "

Recent

"nothing new here!"

Archives

l.o.v.e is s.m.o.k.e & mirrors Friday, August 04, 2006 |

early this morn, i contacted my first love on some we never communicate anymore ish... true, its somewhat of a soft/ ho move but when you have a history 7 years running that reason for a season jargon doesn't suffice or apply. well, the response to my message is a ?; how i could associate with someone she lyingly said she didn't sleep with 4 years ago like i was or in the wrong.

joe & i, have a business relationship & that blip in her past is just that... he's trying to break into modeling & i style so i'm getting my weight up thru my by any means & second, working with someone that close to my heart is humiliatingly humbling to say the least, but pride heals.
not only did i wait 3 years for the truth in that situation, but i also forgave her for all indiscretions & idiosyncrises 'cos the love i still have eludes me of all reasoning at times.

college just made more sense... Thursday, August 03, 2006 |

as a shorty i knew the environment in which i cohabited restrained my creative expression. speaking with my mom's today, she revealed how my dad (as in step-dad) finally got it; me! it took 8 years & some months for him to realize that i didn't need psychiatric evaluation as he frequently prompted, i just didn't fit into the southern slomo traditons of the south. i'm highly animated and random in thought & my struggles to actually find an institution that fought to cultivate my talents finally registered with pops. boy was he proud when i crossed that stage on mother's day. now, i know i still don't fit in, but i don't stick out as much. so thank you Columbia for making me appear somewhat normal to someone whom means so much....

the 'A's lightbulb speaks... the promise |

sometimes we go through life having to re-evaluate what's important to us at the cost of our sanity or the very things sacred to us in their very own way. for so long, i've been crazy and lived with a discontent for life looming in a self-degradating doom behind a love i thought i failed. because i have responsibilities as an adult and labeled such by my age, i lost how to love on the realest; purest level.

i cared, do care & wanted nothing more from this life... so much that i'd give up my dreams to prove validity to whom i refer to as the "golden 1" rather than eloquently continuing to express my love through written colorful language. i forgot how to let life ride and just see where the joy life would take me because i wanted so hard to guide the concourse of the situation so as to not parallel the love i possessed for christina when in fact it was/did. i tried being patient out of obedience only to discover that despite my belief in us, i now lack the strength or blind faith in something readily unpresent or equally unreciprocated. i gave in against my relenting; fell hard and dreamed of life with "the golden 1" but i honestly now live in the shadows of whether christina was the one despite the errors we made in our attempts in understanding whom we are.

i said all this to say that i'm not bitter despite my disposition but i currently lack the fabric to ever fall again... and i'm okay with that as i open up a completely different book in the volume of life. to "the golden 1": baby you had the man's life; provided a sense of sustenance unmatched but i know u lack the understanding of the way we were & possess fear of falling short. let me be judge as i know its my fault for being a good man, faithful, compassionate, endearing & understanding. i don't think of it; of us as a love lost just deferred & your actions will forever seal the fate in my belief & what future looms contigent upon my desires.

this post is a few months old than the published date... it was published originally under a different account