the 'A's lightbulb speaks... the promise
sometimes we go through life having to re-evaluate what's important to us at the cost of our sanity or the very things sacred to us in their very own way. for so long, i've been crazy and lived with a discontent for life looming in a self-degradating doom behind a love i thought i failed. because i have responsibilities as an adult and labeled such by my age, i lost how to love on the realest; purest level.
i cared, do care & wanted nothing more from this life... so much that i'd give up my dreams to prove validity to whom i refer to as the "golden 1" rather than eloquently continuing to express my love through written colorful language. i forgot how to let life ride and just see where the joy life would take me because i wanted so hard to guide the concourse of the situation so as to not parallel the love i possessed for christina when in fact it was/did. i tried being patient out of obedience only to discover that despite my belief in us, i now lack the strength or blind faith in something readily unpresent or equally unreciprocated. i gave in against my relenting; fell hard and dreamed of life with "the golden 1" but i honestly now live in the shadows of whether christina was the one despite the errors we made in our attempts in understanding whom we are.
i said all this to say that i'm not bitter despite my disposition but i currently lack the fabric to ever fall again... and i'm okay with that as i open up a completely different book in the volume of life. to "the golden 1": baby you had the man's life; provided a sense of sustenance unmatched but i know u lack the understanding of the way we were & possess fear of falling short. let me be judge as i know its my fault for being a good man, faithful, compassionate, endearing & understanding. i don't think of it; of us as a love lost just deferred & your actions will forever seal the fate in my belief & what future looms contigent upon my desires.
this post is a few months old than the published date... it was published originally under a different account
i cared, do care & wanted nothing more from this life... so much that i'd give up my dreams to prove validity to whom i refer to as the "golden 1" rather than eloquently continuing to express my love through written colorful language. i forgot how to let life ride and just see where the joy life would take me because i wanted so hard to guide the concourse of the situation so as to not parallel the love i possessed for christina when in fact it was/did. i tried being patient out of obedience only to discover that despite my belief in us, i now lack the strength or blind faith in something readily unpresent or equally unreciprocated. i gave in against my relenting; fell hard and dreamed of life with "the golden 1" but i honestly now live in the shadows of whether christina was the one despite the errors we made in our attempts in understanding whom we are.
i said all this to say that i'm not bitter despite my disposition but i currently lack the fabric to ever fall again... and i'm okay with that as i open up a completely different book in the volume of life. to "the golden 1": baby you had the man's life; provided a sense of sustenance unmatched but i know u lack the understanding of the way we were & possess fear of falling short. let me be judge as i know its my fault for being a good man, faithful, compassionate, endearing & understanding. i don't think of it; of us as a love lost just deferred & your actions will forever seal the fate in my belief & what future looms contigent upon my desires.
this post is a few months old than the published date... it was published originally under a different account