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About

"no words used will describe the space i occupy so just know that i am to influence. i'm 24, clean in this (expletive) making ground in the fashion industry to create a style for ciara, party with kate moss; sip tea at high noon with von furstenberg & westwood; yacht with hov & posen, and exist "

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timberfuck... a duchebag & i'd like real news! Thursday, August 17, 2006 |

after the nipplegate fiasco; jt became a joke... that black card was revoked & the 3 tracks i liked from that terriblly overrated pop album received no love. so i was asked today at fcuk about sexyback & i scoffed at its foolishness & gave it a rating of its nothing special. i love timbo, but sexyback is just noise! which led me to discuss a gamut of socio-political issues aided by raging energy from redbull and bawls energy drinks.

i mentioned how Lance Bass being gay or Jonbenet's death, tragic as it may be, should not be front page news or headlines on all media when its 10 years old. i was 14 when she was offed; yet, the war in Iraq, the deficit, limited international travel & the other bastions of capitalism are more important to my well-being than the identity of her suspected killer. not saying its not news, but give me a medium... hell, give me a break and let that overly made-up girl rest in peace. damn! that's all i was saying but my co-workers made up a scenario just for me in light of my honesty...

they said that when my unborn, gay tiarra-wearing pageant son is murdered, they'd make it a point for it to be international news since i was so harsh on JB. they're sick to say the least but i got bigger issues than knowing they found her murderer in siam like why fica & social security robs me of my hard earned cash each payday & why they haven't fixed the system with all those brains; lest we forget!

speechless |

word, i've been a kelis fan since she popped off talking about how she even sucked joes' d--k in 'Caught Out There.' like kells is my type of b; a bossy one... to tell me how i like it! a confident woman is a bad (expletive) & she could be my ride or die anyday. so i say all this to say Kelis Was Here is nothing less than that kitchen heat; that hotcomb from a gas stove to some tangled naps heat. i thought its concourse would be dismal cos other than like you & bossy the other tracks i heard were tom foolery but 'Blindfold Me', 'Trilogy', 'Weekend', 'Aww Shit' & 'Goodbyes' is definite hotness. its definitely some pluto, label-breaking, doin' my own shit type of r&b that i freaks with.

i'm gonna break the breaks off this joint; like to the wheels fall off. definitely the best & ultra-solid album thus far in her career. the wait... nothing short of worth it. tash, you're gonna like this one!

something extra!! |

i'm gradually transitioning away from FCUk into a management position at "we be clubbin'" (think about it) & the branding identity is a reach for clean, sexy & american classic. i voided myself of all flair; any hint of my personality to fit into the lily culture @ a chance for experience, appreciation and better pay.

the identity of my locale is so sepulchred, one could fiend for urbanization when he or she leaves. being among the few token representatives is not new to me; however, their clandestine stares as if i'm an international exhibit and standoff-ish demeanor was alarming in a sense cos @ 23 i still have to prove my will for existence though it could've been stress related anxiety in part to corporate visiting this locale this day.

i must say that being what is referred to as black is beautiful but damn i get tired of having to possess that something extra; that umph just to be on a level field even though my extra makes me overqualified yet validates them to pay me equal pay despite my advantage. wtf? i got something extra... one day i'll be in charge & i'll ask all the innately-expected privileged to possess more than whom they knew, screw... blah blah blah; you know the cliche...; talent.

the worst... Tuesday, August 15, 2006 |

on some real talk, some of you are unaware of the circumstances that prompted my abrupt move to Chicago almost 2 years ago, and the only reason i'm sharing this bit of private information is to express my feelings about the worst human condition.... homelessness. i live in a metropolis of wealth where there's major moola to be made; there's a hustle for everything; yet, it tears at my soul to have to turn away some one looking to me for change when i possess relatability.

i have this innate belief that all men are good despite the ugliness of the world. i don't know if you all know what its like to be outside with all your belongings only to realize that they're of little value if there's not four walls to surround them. that position is a very lowly, humbling & humiliating place that no warning could heed. i walked that damn campus for 4 hours, 2 summers ago, as a grown man crying like a 6 year old praying for change because the god i worship would not allow me to remain that low. scrapping the bottom when all you've tried to do is exist is a lonely feeling & situation i dare not wish on anyone or to see again.

it took love to understand life |

i can write circles around the love i possess until i get dizzy for the g.o.; however, i'd like to use this space to say how appreciative i am of the clarity and vision she provided in helping me understand life. i am in fact human and struggle with my flesh wanting to express the very best she won't allow me to give due to circumstances; yet, i relent to the bigger picture so that my remaining x will provide this change i was birthed for. it weird that my heart sings melodies & as dark as the sky.... this love will never die. i've never felt like i didn't have control as i do now of my sincerity or my emotions, but each day i learn that this life is really not mine; its just for rent and that this space we occupy is a part of a trite and vast experiment that i dream of being out of. those that get it... leave early & each day i get closer to receiving my ticket.